whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
