why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
