keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
