you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize