she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
