You're my little dorito
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
