Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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