is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
