yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Will you blow on my dice?
we made out on top of his cat.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
