I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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