I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
