I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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