idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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