Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
