i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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