at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
