She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
