i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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