I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
