; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
