she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
