you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
it's like heaven, but drunker
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
