Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
