But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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