your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
