One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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