Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We are two peas in an std pod
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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