I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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