fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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