what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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