her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
