yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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