Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
