I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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