I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
