i permit you to call me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
