I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
