There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
