I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
