You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
