you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
