Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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