My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
