I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He passed out mid-signature
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
