i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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