what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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