You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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