Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize