i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
