Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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