I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
