So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
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yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My dick has a subreddit
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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