Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
