When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i need some magic done to my vagina
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
