she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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