So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
