when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
