Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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