you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Your cock deserves a montage
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
