SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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