I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
