i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
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He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
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Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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