He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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