Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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