I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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