I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
