i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
