he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
